TRUTH

One man's truth is another man's lie.

People seem to be able to convince themselves of almost anything. We see this on a grand scale almost every time we open the newspaper or watch the news on television. In one article we read about the scandals concerning child molestation in high places. In another article we read about an international organization composed of men who dedicate their lives to helping young boys come to terms with their early sexuality. (That is another way of saying that this organization has as its core value the early initiation of boys into sexual activities with mature men.) No doubt some of the members of this organization join because of the "benefits" of membership. These members almost certainly recognize that what they are preaching is a grand lie. The core membership, however, seems to be sincerely convinced that their goals are highly admirable even if they are totally misunderstood and rejected by most people.

I believed that we had seen the ultimate expression of this grand lie when we started to learn about homicide bombers who kill as many of their enemies as possible by blowing themselves up in highly populated places. These people sincerely believe that the grievances they have against their enemies are so strong that blowing up a bus of schoolchildren is fully justified. While this is certainly an extreme form of an enormous lie expressed as a righteous truth, I have no doubt that the future will reveal even grander lies that some people believe to be absolute truth.

We need not limit our discussion of this type of lie to such extreme examples. On a daily basis, we see people justify behavior that to us cannot possibly be justified. Psychologists identified this phenomenon decades ago and gave it a grand name, "cognitive dissonance." According to this theory, once a person behaves several times in a way that is "dissonant" (not in agreement) with his beliefs, he must either change his behavior or change his beliefs. All too often, what used to be an obvious "lie" becomes a fully justified "truth."

How can we avoid this all too common human failing? Doing so is very difficult. Being fully aware of the consequences our actions have on others is a prime requisite for avoiding this serious problem. Whenever we try to justify a behavior that we will benefit from we must ask ourselves who will be hurt by this behavior. We must also carefully weigh what we stand to gain against what others stand to lose. We may not always like the answer we get when we are really truthful with ourselves.